Remembering
by TimLuf1
Summary: In the wake of Tracy's death, the gang remember the influence she had on their lives. Main story takes place in 2024, but is mostly flashbacks to 2013-2024
1. Chapter 1

**Hey peeps, this is a multichap fic detailing Tracy's death and her friendship with the gang, two things I feel weren't explored well enough in the finale. Enjoy**

* * *

_"Hey, are you okay? You look stressed, plus I heard you mutter a few words out loud. I heard 'lonely' and 'unicorn', which actually gave me a great idea for a children's book, so thank you. Are you okay?_

_"No, but there's nothing you can do about it"_

_"Do you want a cookie?"_

_"Yes, yes I do!"_

* * *

_The Year 2024, February 25th, 2:32 am_

Lily Aldrin awoke, startled by the sound of the phone ringing. She looked over at her clock to check the time, squinting at the light on her tired eyes. 'Who would be calling at this hour?' She thought to herself. She rolled over, tiredly, to check if Marshall had been awakened, nope, he was sound asleep, she'd have to get this herself. She sighed and pulled the sheets off her tired body before quietly tiptoeing into the hallway. She picked up the phone.

"Hello?" She answered, still half-asleep.

"Lily." Came the reply, it was Ted, he sounded upset, as if he was crying.

"Ted, what's-"

"Tracy, shes... she's d-dead."

Oh no, this isn't happening, it's too soon, not yet. "Ted-"

"I'm sorry Lily, I can't... Can you call Barney and Robin for me. I just... I just can't right now."

"Of course Ted." Lily said, tearing up.

He hung up. She walked into the living room and sat down on the couch, the news just hitting her. Tracy. Tracy was dead. She thought back to the day she met her, on the train, how she helped her when she was going through a minor crisis. Even though she was just a stranger to Tracy, Tracy still cared, something they would all come to love about her. Her big heart. She remembered how ironically, Tracy was at a low point the very next day...

* * *

_The Year 2013, May 25th_

Lily had just arrived back from Barney and Robins extravagant rehearsal dinner. She was sitting in the hotel bar sipping her gin and tonic. Or rather what she'd like everyone to believe was a gin and tonic. If she actually was pregnant, then she'd be screwed in her argument with Marshall. She noticed her drink was nearing it's end and looked around for Linus, but who she actually saw surprised her.

"Tracy?" She said to the petite brunette.

Tracy turned around and looked at her, a scowl on her face, one that quickly disappeared once she saw the source of the voice.

"Lily!" She said with a fake smile.

Lily furrowed her brow, there was clearly something bothering Tracy. "Do you want to sit down?" She asked, gesturing towards the empty seat in front of her.

"Actually I have to- yeah sure, why not?" She said, sitting down.

Lily finished her drink. "Thank you, Linus." She said as the bartender came by. Tracy stopped him as he left and ordered a drink for herself, she looked like she needed one.

"So." Lily began. "What's going on? I thought you were staying with your boyfriend."

"Oh yeah." Tracy said. "I came up here to do something. I quit my band."

Lily looked shocked. "Why?"

Tracy looked at the redhead tiredly. "It's a long story. I don't want to bore you with the details."

They sat in silence for a second.

"It all started back in 2009. I had just started college and me and a couple of my friends decided to start a band. My band, lets put an emphasis on the fact that it was MY BAND." She said, shouting the last two words.

Lily was quite taken aback by her screaming, noticing this, started talking again, much quieter, but slowly getting angrier with each word. "Two years later I met Darren. He was really sweet, he kept talking about how much he loved my band so I said hey, why not let him sing a couple songs? Couldn't do much harm right? Wrong. Within a couple months, he had taken over the band. I was the lead singer, now I'm just a bass player." She said bitterly, while producing a phone. "And then, earlier today, I got an email from one of my bandmates. What was in the email? An ad. What did the ad say?" She paused. "Bass. Player. Wanted. That is what the ad said. Can you believe that? After I'm the one who invited Darren into the band. What am I gonna do?"

Lily was now angry too, that bastard, she deserved revenge. Only two words came to mind. Aldrin. Justice. "You need to steal that douche-monkeys van." She paused. "And run my husband over with it."

Tracy thought for a second, while Lily took her phone to look at the ad. "Well that's very tempting, but I've never really been the kind of person-."

"Must be hotter than the girl we have now." Lily said, reading the ad. "Who, in my opinion is a six at best?"

Tracy broke her glass. "I'm gonna kill him, I'm gonna grab him by the neck and-"

"Or, just steal his van." Lily said, worried.

Tracy was snapped out of her dark fantasy. "Yeah okay." She said. "So what about you, where's your husband?"

"That sonofabitch." Lily said angrily. "We had already decided to move to Rome for a year but he took a job in New York without telling me."

Tracy narrowed her eyes. "Men."

"Raise my glass to that." Lily said.

Tracy reached for her glass. "Oh yeah." She said laughing. "I should go get that van now, while Darren's still in his room."

Lily looked confused. "Without keys?"

Tracy looked at Lily with a slight smile. "Please Lily, I know a thing or two about a thing or two." She said, heading towards the door.

* * *

_Six hours later._

"So are Marvin and I and any other future children we may have just some consolation prize?" Marshall asked.

Lily stopped, tears streaming down her face. 'Future children' those two words repeated themselves in her head. "I have to get out of here." She said heading towards the door.

She reached the bottom of the stairs before she thought about what she was doing. She could be pregnant, she had to find out, it couldn't wait. "It can't wait." She muttered underneath her breath.

She made her way towards the front desk, intent on calling the captain when she bumped into someone.

"Tracy?" She said, recognizing the woman.

Tracy looked up, with a tear stained face not unlike Lilys.

"Are you okay?" Lily asked, not wanting to answer that very question herself.

"I just broke up with my boyfriend." She said, surprising Lily with her honesty.

"Oh." Lily replied, not knowing what to say. "I'm sorry.

Tracy started crying and Lily was conflicted. Continue on with her business or help this poor girl. She decided on the latter and brought Tracy over to sit down, after all, Tracy did do the same for her on Friday morning.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Lily asked.

Tracy paused for a few moments and stopped crying. "Okay." She said and she told her everything. How she met Max, how Max tragically died, how she couldn't date anyone else for a number of years, how she met Louis, how she turned down his proposal and finally moved on from Max.

"Wow." Lily said, taking it all in, she hadn't expected all that when she asked the questions. It made her momentarily forget her problems, they paled in comparison to what Tracy was going through.

"Yeah." Tracy said. "I'm sorry I told you all that, I probably made you uncomfortable."

"No, God no, that's not what I meant at all, it's just... That's horrible, what you went through."

Tracy remained silent.

"I promise you." Lily said reaching out. "Things will get better, you've let go and that's the hardest part. You can move on now."

Tracy nodded. "What about you?" She said, obviously wanting to change the subject. "Why are you up so late?"

"Oh right." Lily replied, not wanting to talk about it. "Well, Marshall and I had a pretty big fight."

Tracy nodded, sensing there was more to this. "And you're pregnant."

"What?" Lily replied, how could she possibly know that?

"I saw you earlier, with those non-alcoholics. You're obviously pregnant."

"Oh." Lily replied, was it that obvious? She decided to change the subject. "I heard Darren left."

Tracy gave a slight smile. "Yeah, the best man punched him and he quit the band."

Lily smiled too, glad that she was able to cheer her up a little.

"I should get going." Tracy said, standing up.

"Tracy." Lily called up to her. "Things are gonna start looking up for you, I know it."

"I hope so, and congrats with the baby."

Lily fake-smiled. The baby. This was a disaster.

* * *

Lily remembered that night back in 2013. How Tracy was at her lowest less than 24 hours before she met Ted. She looked around her living room in the dark until her eyes landed on one picture. It was a picture of the six of them, when they officially let Tracy into the gang...

* * *

_The Year 2013, June 9th_

"So when's your new girlfriend getting here Ted?" Robin asked.

Ted looked up, clearly nervous. "She should be here um, any minute."

Barney chuckled. "Ted relax, we've already met her, she and Lily already had a lesbian experience."

Lily rolled her eyes. "For the last time, we did not have a lesbian experience!"

Barney looked at her suspiciously. "Really? Because you're being awfully secretive about what happened when you 'ran into' each other Saturday night."

Lily mentally cursed herself, she had let it slip that they talked on Saturday night, but she knew she couldn't reveal the contents of their conversation in case she hadn't told Ted about it yet.

Tracy walked into McLarens. "Oh look she's here." Lily said, glad she was able to avoid Barney's questioning.

"Hey Tracy." Ted said lovingly, standing up to kiss her as his friends awkwardly looked on.

"So." Barney said as Tracy sat down. "You and Lily."

Tracy looked confused. "What about me and Lily?"

"Come on, you can tell us, this is a safe space."

Lily resisted the urge to punch Barney. "Barney!" She said. "Get the next round."

"But Lily." He said pleading with her, she gave him a look. "Fine, but when I get back, I want details."

"What was that about?" Tracy asked, confused.

"Oh nothing." Robin said. "Just Barney being Barney."

"So." Marshall said, changing the subject. "How long have you been living in the city?"

"I moved here from New Jersey back in 2003."

"Really?" Robin said looking at Ted. "New Jersey?"

"What?" Ted said. "I've got no problems with NJ."

Tracy chuckled. "You cringed every time I mentioned it on our first date."

Ted sighed. "Was I that obvious?"

Tracy nodded and the rest of them laughed.

"So." Robin said. "Seeing as you've lived here for ten years I assume you have your own group of friends."

"Not so much." Tracy said, looking downwards. "I mean, I used to, but things happened and we kind of lost touch."

Lily nodded, knowing exactly what 'things happened' meant.

"Well you do now!" Marshall said without thinking. "You can be part of our gang now."

Tracy chuckled. "Okay, why not." She said, smiling.

"Okay and once you're in, you're in for life." Robin said, remembering what Lily said to her eight years ago.

"I promise." Tracy said, putting her hand over her heart, in mock seriousness. "That I will stay part of this gang, until the day I die."

* * *

Till the day she died. It sent shivers down Lily's spine thinking about that day. Tracy did uphold that promise though, every time it seemed that the gang was drifting apart, Tracy would always try her hardest to bring them back together.

* * *

_The Year 2016, October 13th_

"You guys are moving out of the apartment?" Ted asked in shock.

Lily and Marshall looked at each other, they had just invited the gang over (minus Robin who was busy) to break the news that they would soon be leaving the apartment that the gang had called home for sixteen years.

"Yes." Lily replied. "With the baby on the way it seemed like the best choice, we already have a place lined up and we'll be moving out at the end of the month."

Barney looked shocked. "Well if you guys are moving out, then we have to throw a huge party to commemorate the awesome years we spent here. On the roof, just like old times."

The rest of them rolled their eyes, ever since the divorce Barney had been living too much in the past, wanting their lives to be how they used to be.

"Wait, where's Robin?" Tracy asked, noticing her absence in such a big moment.

Barney scoffed. "Robin? Please Trace, we haven't seen her in like two months, why should she be here?"

"Well, it's just that, I'd presume she'd want to know." Tracy said.

"I don't know Tracy." Marshall said. "It's just that-"

"Just that what? Once you're in, you're in for life right?"

They all looked at each other. Tracy had a point.

"Fine." Lily said. "We'll call her. It hurts, the fact that we were friends for so long and then she just left."

"I know." Tracy said, agreeing.

"So." Barney said, smiling. "Don't you have some news Tracy?"

Tracy's eyes darted towards Ted and then at Barney. "What are you talking about?"

"Come on." He said. "You obviously got a boob job!"

"WHAT!?" Lily and Marshall said in unison while Ted and Tracy rolled their eyes at each other. Lily looked at Tracy's breasts, they did look bigger but Tracy wouldn't get a- oohhhhh.

"No Barney." Tracy said. "I didn't get a boob job, why does you're mind always go to boob job? I'm pregnant."

"Oh my God, that's awesome!" Marshall exclaimed as they all got up to hug each other.

Marvin and Daisy came out of their room. "Uncle Ted and Aunty Tracy are having a baby!" He squealed in delight.

"It gonna be girl." Daisy said.

"No, it has to be a boy! Mommy's having a girl and Penny's a girl too." He said and pointed at Penny, who was asleep in her buggy. "We need more boys!"

The adults chuckled at the kids petty argument. "Kids, calm down." Marshall said, walking over to his children.

"We definitely need a bigger apartment." Lily said.

* * *

_October 31st_

"We'll always be friends, but the five of us, hanging out in McLaren's, being young and stupid. It's just not one of those things. I have to go now, goodnight Lily." Robin said, almost in tears. She pulled in to hug Lily.

"Goodnight." Lily said, in tears.

Robin walked out the door, leaving Lily alone in the empty apartment. She turned to look at the empty walls, this really was the end of an era. Robin was gone, possibly forever. She went back up to the rooftop, where she saw Barney sitting in the corner with ice on his crotch.

Tracy walked over, giggling. "Barney tried to do the splits in mid-air." She said, before noticing Lily was crying. "Lily what's wrong?"

"Robin... Left." She said in tears. "She just showed up and left, not without destroying our friendship first."

Ted and Marshall walked over, noticing Lily was crying. "What's wrong baby?" Marshall asked Lily.

"Robin." Tracy said.

Marshall understood and comforted his wife.

"Screw this." Tracy said, handing Ted her cup. "I'm going after her."

"Wait, Tracy." Ted said as she headed for the ladder.

"Just leave her go." Marshall said. "It's Tracy, she'll say the right thing."

Ted nodded his head and walked over to get a drink.

"I think Tracy's the last person Robin would want to talk to right now." Lily said to Marshall.

Marshall was at first confused, but then his eyes widened. "You're not saying that-"

"Yep, Robin told me she still loves Ted."

* * *

_The Year 2017, March 23rd_

"Come on Marshall, drive faster!" Lily screamed. They had just received a text from Ted saying that Tracy had gone into labor. At half two in the morning. In Farhampton. So they decided to drive out to the Hamptons in the middle of the night, leaving their kids in the care of her dad. Crazy idea, but they couldn't miss this.

"I'm trying!" Marshall shouted back. "We're never gonna make it."

"Can you guys keep it down?" Said a voice in the back seat. "I'm trying to sleep here."

Lily jumped, but then relaxed, she forgot Barney was there, they had picked him up on the way, delaying them as he had to pick out the perfect suit.

"No chance Robin's gonna make it huh?" Marshall asked.

"Doubt it." Lily replied. "She's probably in some foreign country right now."

"Robin." Barney scoffed, lighting a cigarette. "When Rosie was born, all you guys got was a lousy phone call. I seriously doubt she's gonna show up for this."

"You're still smoking?" Lily asked. "I thought you and Robin quit on your honeymoon."

"Yeah, but then we got divorced so I started again." Barney said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"You know, you could get lung cancer." Lily said.

Barney shrugged it off.

"And then how are you gonna pick up dumb bimbos in your Clooney years? You won't have any Clooney years."

"But that's the dream!" Barney said, throwing his cigarette out the window. "Okay, you got me Aldrin, that right there, was my last cigarette ever!"

Lily smiled, wow that was easy.

They eventually arrived at the hospital and when they got to the delivery room Tracy was moments away from giving birth.

"Hey, there's the mother." Barney said holding up his camera. "Smile Trace!"

"GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE BARNEY!" Tracy screamed.

"Hey, Barney Junior." Barney said to the camera. "This is how you were born."

"WE ARE NOT NAMING HIM BARNEY JUNIOR!"

"Will someone please get this man out of the delivery room." The doctor said.

"Yeah Barney, I would have thought you'd have learned your lesson from last time." Ted said.

Barney winced, remembering the time Penny was born as he was brought out of the room.

"Come on baby, you can do this." Ted said. "Just one more push."

"YOU SAID THAT AN HOUR AGO!"

_One hour later._

"I think that went well." Tracy said, looking at her baby boy.

Ted, Barney, Marshall and Lily all looked at each other, sharing the same thought.

"What are you guys gonna name him?" Marshall asked.

"Luke." Ted said.

"As in Luke Skywalker?" Lily asked.

"Hey, she vetoed Leia last time around, we have to have a Star Wars name in there somewhere."

"I still think Barney sounds better." Barney said.

"What about Barney as a middle name?" Tracy proposed.

She looked over at Ted. "Why not." He said.

"Yes!" Barney shouted. "You will not regret this." He knelt down beside Tracy's bed and looked at Luke. "Luke, in twenty-one years I'm gonna teach you how to live."

"I'm regretting this." Tracy said.

* * *

Robin never did show up on the day of Luke's birth, in fact she never even met him until he was two years old. But Tracy did manage to get Robin to turn up for her and Ted's wedding. It took effort and a lot of time, but Tracy prevented their group from completely shattering. Something they were all truly grateful for. When Tracy put her mind to something, you would be sure that it would be done, like her book on her experiences in the third world. She spent some time in the third world throughout her life, that was her goal, to end poverty. If she had lived longer that dream would have most definitely become a reality.

* * *

_The Year 2021, January 24th_

Lily knocked on the door of the Mosby house. She had a day off from the gallery and Marshall was busy at court, so she decided to come see how Tracy's book was coming along.

Tracy opened the door and Lily saw the state her friend was in. Her hair was sticking out all over the place, bags underneath her eyes, she was wearing one of Teds t-shirts and only a pair of panties, looking like she hadn't seen the sun in a long time.

"Wow." Lily said, not believing what she was seeing.

"What? Oh this?" She said, commenting on her appearance. "Book."

"Tracy have you slept recently?" Lily asked worriedly.

Tracy shook her head. "But I did finish chapter one, okay the outline of chapter one, okay a doodle."

Tracy walked in and Lily followed, seeing a large amount of empty coffee mugs, crisp packets and red bull. Tracy needed help.

They walked into her study, which had a foul stench and the walls were filled with pictures and mind maps.

"Well, what have you got done so far." Lily asked.

"Well, I've got reports from my time in India in 2018, Nigeria in 2019 and Kenya last year." She said pointing at various binders scattered around the room. "I just can't seem to put it all together in one book thingy."

"Well, you could start by having a shower." Lily said. "And maybe putting some pants on."

Tracy looked down. "I'm not wearing pants? I could have sworn I put some on on Monday. Or was that Friday?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "You're never going to get anything done if you don't get some sleep. Or fresh air, go for a walk, clear your head."

"You're right." Tracy said, tiredly. "I should go for a walk." She stood up and headed towards the door.

"No." Lily called after her. "Pants first, then walk."

* * *

Tracy did act like that for a while after, annoying the hell out of Ted, but eventually she got down to business and started writing her book, which came out later that year. Lily got up and walked over to her coffee table where the book lay. _Ending_ _Poverty, One Step At A Time by Tracy McConnell_ was written on the cover.

The book won an award and Tracy appeared on TV because of it. She had become a celebrity and had was about to put her ideas into action when she was diagnosed. She did write another book, a biography while she was sick, but she would never achieve what Lily always knew she was capable of doing.

* * *

_The Year 2023, November 22nd_

Lily and Marshall burst through the doors of the emergency room, they had just received a call from the hospital telling them that Tracy had collapsed and she had been taken to the emergency room. They pushed the doors of the waiting room open. Ted, Robin and Barney were already there.

"How's she doing?" Lily asked, to no-one in particular.

"They aren't telling us anything." Robin said.

Ted was staring straight ahead, in a near comotose state and looked like he had been crying. Barney also looked like he was crying, he wasn't even trying to hide it like he usually would.

They sat in silence for what seemed like hours, nobody knowing what to say until finally a doctor emerged from the door.

"Mr. Mosby." He said. "Your wife is out of surgery but we'd like to speak to the two of you in private."

Ted got up and followed the doctor into a separate room.

"I don't like this." Marshall finally said. "They want to speak in private? That can't be good, that's never good."

"I know baby." Lily said, stroking his back. "But we have to stay positive, for Tracy's sake."

"I'm gonna go get some coffee." Barney said in a small voice.

"I'll go with you." Robin said, following him.

Some time passed without Lily and Marshall saying anything until Ted and Tracy emerged. They looked up at the couple, looking for a glimmer of hope, happiness, relief. But no, they found the opposite.

Tracy sat down, her face frozen in grief, tears rolling down her face. Ted, the same. Barney and Robin ran back into the room, looking for the same reactions Marshall and Lily were looking for.

"What is it?" Robin managed to ask, breaking the silence.

"Cancer." Tracy said in a quiet voice, looking at the ground.

Lily couldn't believe it. Cancer. She heard someone crying and someone leaving the room. This wasn't happening, this wasn't part of the plan, Tracy wasn't supposed to get cancer. No.

Tracy wasn't finished talking. "It's terminal, I have three months to live."

* * *

Lily couldn't remember past that moment, it all became a blur. Her best friend would be dead in three months, the woman Ted spent eight years looking for would be dead in three months, a mother of two children, dead before the age of 40. It was a horrible time for their gang, they spent as much time as possible with her, but it wasn't nearly enough. Tracy did everything she had wanted to do before she died, she tried to stay positive. She and Lily went to Pris together, something they kept saying they'd do, but never got around to.

* * *

_The Year 2024, January 16th_

"Woah, what a day." Lily said, walking in the door of the hotel room, she and Tracy had seen all the sights in Paris and spent the rest of the day shopping. The words cancer and death weren't mentioned once, which relieved Lily. "Can't believe we're heading home tomorrow."

"Yeah." Tracy said as they sat down on the couch, exhausted. "There's something I've been meaning to talk to you about."

Lily looked over at Tracy, she had grim expression. "Yeah." She replied, suspecting what they were going to talk about.

"I... I don't have a lot of time left. So I've decided to talk to you each individually before... well, you know."

Lily began to tear up, this was it.

"Lily, I can't even begin to describe how much your friendship means to me and how glad I am that I met you on that train all those years ago. You're my best friend."

Lily felt the tears falling down her face and could see the same happening to Tracy. "Tracy, don't talk that way, you've still got a whole month and-"

"Lily, please, I'd like to do this now."

Lily nodded, wiping her eyes.

"I'd like to ask one thing of you." Tracy said.

"Of course. Anything."

"If Penny ever needs someone to talk to, about something that maybe Ted wouldn't be able to handle. I-I'd like to know that she can always count on her Aunt Lily."

"Of course Tracy. I promise."

The two women hugged each other.

* * *

And that was it. After that, Tracy progressively got worse. She lost her hair a week later, her ability to move slowly got worse and worse, she spent the last two weeks of her life on bed rest and for the past week she was barely even able to move her head. They all visited practically every day, but Lily would always regard that conversation in Paris as her goodbye. She looked at the clock, almost 3 am, she should really get going with those phone calls.

* * *

**That was a loong chapter, it may not have seemed like it but it took me a few days to write it. I'm not so good at concentrating :). Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter, I will probably be better once it's put together with the other chapters. There will be ones from Barney, Marshall, Robin and Teds point of view. I'll try to update soon.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Quick update right? No but I'll try to update quicker from now on, I've just been super busy. Enjoy, or don't, depending on your preference.**

* * *

_"I'm recruiting volunteers for the starving puppy orphanage where I work. For free. So, if you wouldn't mind just writing your number down on this signup sheet?"_

_"Listen, I appreciate that you feel like you need my number. Maybe it's because you're really sad about something and this is your way of feeling better about yourself. But since I have a boyfriend, and I'm pretty sure I heard you call me a target earlier over there, I'm gonna go ahead and not give you my number. I'm gonna give you something even better."_

_"Wow, right to the chase. Meet you in aisle six."_

* * *

_The Year 2024, February 25th, 3:01 am_

Barney opened his eyes, his phone was buzzing. He reached over to his nightstand to pick it up.

"Go for Barney." He said tiredly, lacking his usual enthusiasm.

"Barney, listen-um something's happened." He heard Lily's voice say.

Barney bolted upright, she sounded frantic, somewhat upset. What could possibly be wrong with her that she'd call in the middle of the night. "What's wrong Lil." He asked cautiously.

"Um- well, there's no easy way to say this. Tracy passed away." Lily said, sobbing.

Barney was shocked. Already?Had it been three months? No it couldn't have, there was more time, he was sure of it.

"Oh." Was all he could muster, he couldn't believe it. He had a fantasy where the doctors would suddenly come up with a cure, where she would survive. He knew it was far-fetched, but a small part of him believed it would happen.

"Yeah." Lily replied.

"I don't know what to- it's just such a-"

"Yeah, I understand." Lily replied. "She didn't deserve this."

Lily was right, Tracy of all people didn't deserve cancer, he couldn't think of a single reason to dislike the woman. She just always had something about her that made you like her. "I know." He replied.

"I-I gotta go Barney, I ha-have to make another call."

"Okay, bye." Barney said, all emotion drained from his voice.

He put the phone down and just stared straight ahead in shock, he wasn't crying, from some reason the tears wouldn't come.

He tried to tell himself it was a good thing, that she was put out of the pain she had been going through for the past few months, that she was in a better place now. But he couldn't, it just wasn't fair for her to be taken so soon.

* * *

_The Year 2013, June 9th_

"Barney!" He heard Marshall yell as he arrived with the drinks. "Tracy's in our gang now."

"Really?" Barney replied. "That was fast, especially considering your history." He pointed at Tracy and Lily.

"Oh knock it off Barney." Lily said, hitting him.

For next hour or so, Tracy told the gang about herself, stories from her life, with the others interjecting with their own stories. One story in particular caught Barney's attention.

"... So then invited him back to my apartment, went to get the cello and when came back to the living room, he was standing there naked. Apparently it's a thing "The Naked Man", saw it on some guys blog."

Barney almost spat out his drink. "You read my blog?"

Tracy stopped, confused. "What?"

"My blog, finally someone has the intelligence to read my blog!"

"Oh." She replied. "That was you?"

He nodded.

"Okay. I read that one entry and I'm not gonna lie, you are very-"

"Awesome? Legendary?"

"-Perverted."

The others laughed and Barney shrugged his shoulders. "You've still read it more than these guys ever have. I like you, I think you'll fit in perfectly around here." His eyes widened. "Have you ever played laser tag?"

Ted sighed. "Barney's been trying to get us to play laser tag with him for years now." He explained. "He's failed miserably."

"Hey." Barney replied. "I'll have you know that I almost had Robin play with me."

"Barney, it's a kids game." Robin sighed.

"You enjoyed it." He replied to his wife. "Admit it."

Robin shook her head. "It doesn't count as a gun unless you can kill a man with it."

"Your father said the very same thing." He replied. "So Tracy, are you in or what?"

Tracy looked over at the others, who shook their heads. "Sure why not? How bad can it be?"

* * *

_A few days later..._

"THAT WAS AWESOME!" Tracy yelled, as she and Barney walked out of the laser tag arena.

"Finally!" Barney said. "Someone who appreciates the awesomeness that is laser tag!"

"So we won! What do we get?" Tracy asked.

"Free wings." Barney replied, picking them up at the counter.

"I love laser tag."

Barney smiled. "I am glad that you said that, there's a competition coming up in September-"

"I'd love to!"

"Good, because I've already signed us up." Barney said, producing a sign up sheet, already filled in.

Tracy frowned. "Yeah, my surname is McConnell, not MacDonald."

Barney thought back. "Are you sure? Because when you introduced yourself I remember thinking I'd love a MacDonalds right now."

Tracy looked at him, checking to see if he was joking or not. "Pretty sure. And I was born September 14th 1984 not "I dunno, I sure hope she's over 21 though or my best bro Ted is in serious trouble.""

"Noted." He said, scribbling out his answers.

Barney looked at Tracy mischievously. "So, you and Ted? You giving him any?"

Tracy looked disgusted. "I really don't think that's any of business."

"Hey, I just need to know if my best bro is getting some."

"You guys have an odd relationship."

"Yeah well, he probably hasn't gotten any since Jeanette."

Tracy thought for a second. "Was she the one who didn't want him tearing down a building?"

"No, that was Chloe or something. Jeanette was the crazy one."

"I think you mean Zoey."

"I don't think so, it was Chloe." Barney said.

"No I'm pretty sure- never mind." Tracy said, it wasn't worth it.

"Ted really got around a lot." Barney said, thinking back. "What about- never mind."

"What?" Tracy asked, confused.

"Well it's just, Lily told me about your, um-"

"Dead boyfriend?" Tracy interrupted.

"That's the one."

"Ted's right, she really does have a big mouth."

"She's really trying." Barney said. "I thought you two had a lesbian 'moment'."

Tracy looked shocked. "Hey I'd never-" She paused. "Well actually."

"What?" Barney said, eyes widening.

"Well a couple years ago-"

"Wait." Barney said, producing a voice recorder. "Go on."

Tracy paused looking at the voice recorder, she then shrugged, continuing. "A couple years ago, my roommate found out she was a lesbian and had crush on me."

"And?"

"Well it was only a kiss."

"Only a-?" Barney said, shocked. "In the world of lesbianism there is no 'only a', everything is nothing short of amazing."

"Wow, I cannot believe-"

"-That you didn't have sex with her?" Barney interrupted.

"-That you're married."

The two chuckled for a moment until Tracy spoke up. "We should get going, Ted probably waiting."

They both got up and Barney stopped, realizing something. "Zoey! Her name was Zoey!"

* * *

Barney thought back to their very first laser tag game together. They would end up playing together a lot over the years, winning a few competitions. That is, until something grinded that to a halt.

* * *

_The Year 2015, February 24th_

"She's getting a boob job." Barney told his wife as the happy couple hugged each other.

"What!?" All three asked.

Barney looked at them, confused and then a sudden realisation came over him. "So you're not getting a boob job? Why?"

"Barney, I'm pregnant." Tracy told him as they sat down.

"Oh my God, congratulations!" Robin said.

"What? You're pregnant?" Barney asked in shock. "You'll still be able to come to the laser tag tri-state championships in October right? Tracy, tell me you'll be able to come to the laser tag tri-state championships in October!"

Tracy smiled at Ted. "I won't."

Barney scowled. "You know you guys are gonna be like Marshall and Lily now, you know where they are? Upstairs, trying to get their kids to sleep. On a Saturday night!" He looked at Tracy. "And you're gonna get fat."

There was silence for a moment. "Champagne?" Robin asked.

"Yeah!" Tracy said, excited. "Oh yeah, pregnant."

Robin got up to get the champagne and Barney started talking again. "Stupid kids, you guys have no idea how awesome to travel all the time and only see your wife when she's not working, which is ALL the time and never feeling like you're settled." He paused and Ted and Tracy exchanged a look. "It's so so so awesome! Why would you want kids if you could have that?"

"Barney are you and Robin-" Ted began.

"-Awesome? Yeah."

Robin walked up with a bottle of champagne. "I got a call from work, I gotta go but congrats guys."

Barney looked disappointed. "What? But thought we were gonna spend some time together tonight."

"I'm sorry Barney. Rain check?" She proceeded towards the door and Barney slumped down in his chair, they hadn't spent much time together since Robin got promoted at work and the only time they did spend together was on an airplane.

"Barney, I'm sorry." Tracy said, noticing his sadness.

"Lets drink." He said, filling his and Ted's glasses.

A few hours later..

Barney looked at Ted, he looked in pretty bad shape. That round of champagne had led to more champagne, and scotch and Ted didn't look to be taking it so well. He stood up on top of the table. "Wooooooo!" He screamed. "See this woman here." He pointed at Tracy. "She's giving me a baby. A little baby... And I'm gonna be a dad. I need to sit down." He fell down onto the seat and downed another glass of scotch.

"Maybe it's time we stopped him." Tracy said, giggling.

"Yes, I am highly intoxicated ans I would be a danger to myself and others if I drank any more."

Barney and Tracy exchanged a glance. "That was odd." Tracy said.

"Ted, how good of a detective are you?" Barney asked, suspecting something.

"I'm a terrible detective, it was my sister who found the retainer in the garbage."

"Oh my God." Barney yelled in excitement. "He's truth serum drunk. That last scotch must've sent him over the edge. Haha, revenge is mine!"

Tracy's eyes widened. "You mean he can't lie!" She paused for a moment and Barney thought she might not approve of asking Ted embarrassing questions. "That is awesome!"

Barney looked at Ted. "Did you or did you not have a three way?"

"I didn't, I wimped out when I saw four boobs together at once."

"When we were first dating, you said you beat up a guy who tried to hit on me, is that true?" Tracy asked.

"No, I tried but then he hit me and I ran home crying."

Tracy and Barney started laughing, they asked him a few more questions until Barney had an idea. "On a scale of one to ten, how dirty is Tracy in bed?"

"BARNEY!" Tracy said, shocked.

"9.5."

Barney started laughing and Tracy went red. "Hey, don't worry Trace, you can make up for that extra .5."

"Shut up Barney." She turned to her fiance. "Ted, has Barney ever, you know, gone the other way?"

"He once picked a girl up, brought her home and when she got undressed, Barney realised she was from Thailand."

Tracy exploded in laughter and Barney tried to hide his embarrassment. "Ted, remember how we came up with a list of the dirtiest sex acts we could think of? Has Tracy ever done number 1?"

"All the time."

"What's number 1?" Tracy asked them. "No wait, I don't wanna know!"

"You dirty, dirty girl." Barney said, giggling. "You know I've never met a girl who would do number 1. Has Tracy ever-"

"BARNEY WILL YOU EVER STOP ASKING THOSE QUESTIONS!" Tracy shouted, gaining some looks from other bar patrons.

"No he will not." Ted stated.

"Tell me something I don't know." Tracy snapped.

"On the day of Barney and Robin's wedding, Robin tried to run away with me."

"What!?" Barney asked, Tracy looked alarmed.

"It's something she didn't know."

"I can't believe you never told me that." Tracy said. "You said the story ended on the morning of the wedding."

"How do you think I feel?" Barney asked. "We've been married for two years and she actually wanted to marry Ted? I can't believe this."

"Barney, no, come on." Tracy said, sympathising. "I'm sure it was just pre-wedding jitters."

"Tracy, the woman drags me around the world and we rarely spend time alone together. I mean I can live with that, it's tough but the only thing keeping me going was the fact that she loved me. But now, now I find this out? I just don't know anymore. I gotta go, I'm sorry." He got up and left, questioning his entire marriage.

After that, things just went downhill in his marriage. If was the events of that night combined with everything else that fueled their divorce the following year. It seemed stupid really, it probably was just pre-wedding jitters. Those problems, those problems that don't seem so big anymore, overshadowed the fact that he loved so much.

Barney stopped himself, he was thinking about Robin again. He shouldn't, him and Robin are over, they are nothing more than friends. His thoughts went back to Tracy, disappointed with himself that he forgot this tragedy in favour of his own trivial problems.

* * *

_The Year 2015, September 25th_

"S'up preggo." Barney said as a heavily pregnant Tracy opened her front door.

"To what do I owe the pleasure." Tracy said as Barney walked past her into the house. "And yeah sure, you're welcome to come in."

"Well seeing as Ted is off doing some sort of architect thing and Robin's off in Spain or Brazil or Australia or one of those European countries, I thought we could hang out." He said grabbing a beer out of the fridge. He turned around and looked at Tracy, Ted had warned him that she was very moody lately.

"Sure." She said grumpily. "Get me a pickle from the fridge."

"Okay." Barney said. A pickle? Pregnant women are weird. Tracy walked into the living room, he followed her in and gave her the pickle. She looked up at him in disgust.

"What?" He asked.

"You don't see what you've done?" She asked, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Uhhhh."

"You didn't get the mustard! You can't have pickle without mustard!" Tracy yelled.

Yeah, there it was, the irrational moodiness that Ted was talking about. "Mustard? Are you... What?!"

"Just shut up and get it." Tracy said.

Barney realized the only thing for him to do was to get the mustard or this would only get worse. He went to retrieve it and came back to a completely different Tracy.

"I'm sorry I yelled." She said, in tears. "I'll go make you some cookies."

Wow, Barney thought, now she was crying? She started walking towards the kitchen and Barney thought how nice it would be to have some sumbitches right now... no she's pregnant... but sumbitches... no it wouldn't be right. She came back in with a huge smile on her face, seemingly forgetting about the cookies.

"I found a quarter!" She declared, happy with herself. She immediately plopped herself down on the couch and started eating her pickle and mustard. "This is awesome, you should try it!"

"No thanks." He said nervously, hoping that happy Tracy would stay for the time being.

"I'm surprised Ted would leave so soon to that little bastard's birth."

"She's not a- oh yeah. I'm not due for another month so I'd say it's okay." Tracy said, dipping her pickle into the mustard.

"Is she gonna play laser tag?"

"Oh totally." Tracy said. "We're not gonna let Ted convince her that laser tag is lame. She's also going to be a coin collector and renaissance enthusiast."

"God, you guys are dorks."

"And proud of it. You seen our coin display?"

"No and I'd like to keep it that way."

"Suit yourse- OWW." She yelled out in pain, clutching her stomach.

"What's wrong?" Barney asked, worried.

"Oh crap!" Tracy yelled. "I think that was a contraction!"

"What? No, no not good!" Barney panicked.

"CALL TED! NOW!"

"Okay, okay no need to yell." He said, taking his phone out.

He called Ted and it rang for a few seconds.

"Hello?" He heard from Ted.

"Ah, good. You're there. Listen I'm here with Tracy and there's a bit of a situation."

"What's going on? Is she hurt?"

"No, no nothing like that. She's just gone into labor."

"WHAT!?" Ted screamed, making Barney take his ear away from the phone.

"Okay calm down bro."

"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. Can I talk to her?"

"Sure." He handed the phone to Tracy. They had a short conversation and she handed the phone back.

"Okay, here's the plan." Tracy declared. "Ted's almost in New York, so you're taking me to the hospital and he'll meet us there."

"But I don't have a car."

"Use my car!"

"But I'm not insured."

"Barney I swear to God.."

"Okay fine." He said. "But if we die in your little deathtrap then-"

"Then what? We'll be dead."

Barney shrugged his shoulders. They went outside and got in her banged up little car. "God, how old is this thing?" Barney asked.

"I got it back in 03, she's my baby. Well, now I've got another one but that doesn't mean I don't love you." She said to her car, panting.

Barney struggled to get into the car, having to push the seat back. "God, you are literally the smallest person ever. How do you fit in this thing."

"Just drive."

* * *

_Some time later_

Tracy yelled in pain. "They're getting closer together.

Barney stopped the car. "Yeah well we're here now, so next time you feel like punching someone, punch the doctor."

They got out of the car, heading towards the hospital entrance.

"Tracy?" A voice called out.

They both turned around looking for the source and Tracy's eyes landed on a man standing a few feet away. "Aw crap." She muttered. "Hey Louis."

He waved at her and Barney could feel the awkwardness in the air. This must be the Louis that she dated for a year.

"I'm just here because my sister was in an accident, it's fine, nothing serious." He said awkwardly. "How are you doing? I mean, obviously..." He said, gesturing towards her stomach.

"Yeah, this is my first one, she's a girl, I-" Tracy said.

"-Hey I'm Barney." Barney said, cutting her off. Now was not the time for some of Tracy's classic nice-girlness, they needed to get rid of this guy. "Tracy's husband."

Tracy glared at him.

"Oh, okay." Louis said. "I gotta get going, congrats." He said backing away.

"Okay." Tracy said. "Tell Karen I said get well soon."

"Husband?" Tracy said as soon as Louis had left.

"I worked didn't it?" Barney said ad they walked into the hospital. "Boy, you sure can be nice to people when you want to be."

"It's not his fault you were driving too slow, I'm not gonna take it out on him." She paused. "Have you-OWWW-heard anything from Ted."

"Nothing. You think he's gonna make it?"

"I hope so."

They made their way to the front desk of the ER. "Hi, I've just gone into labor, my contractions have gotten very short apart." Tracy said to the front desk nurse.

"What's your name?"

"Tracy McConnell, my doctor is Dr. Clancy."

"Ah okay." The nurse replied, escorting Tracy to the delivery room, she stopped when Barney followed. "Dr. Clancy has a rule where only direct family is allowed. Is he the father?"

Tracy paused for a second. She couldn't do this alone and Ted didn't look like he was arriving any time soon. She made a snap decision that she would later regret. "Yes! He's the father."

"Okay." The nurse said and they continued towards the room.

'I'm the father?' Barney said telepathically to Tracy.

'I need someone in there with me. Just go with it.' She replied.

'But what about Ted? What's gonna happen when he arrives?'

'I didn't think it all the way through, okay?' Tracy thought back.

A short while later.

"WHERE THE HELL IS TED!?" Tracy yelled, making Barney drop his smartphone, her contractions were getting shorter and shorter apart but she was refusing to let her daughter out until Ted arrived.

"I'm sure he's coming." Barney reassured her, getting slightly worried himself, it would be truly horrible if Ted Mosby was to miss the birth of his daughter. A nurse walked in.

"Excuse me, Ms. McConnell?" She asked.

"That's me." Tracy snapped.

"There's a man in the lobby claiming to be your fiance."

Tracy was about to speak but Barney cut her off. "Is it Louis? That guy needs to let go, she said no to him two years ago."

"So I shouldn't let him in?"

"Yeah."

"N-no wait OWWWW." Tracy was cut off by a contraction. When it was over she hit Barney across the head. "What the hell?" She said, showing him her engagement ring. "Maybe it was my actual fiance, Ted!"

"No no no no no. No." Barney said, confidently then his eyes widened. "Wait, what if it was Ted?"

Tracy groaned and Barney rushed out the door. He stopped the nurse. "Hi, remember that guy you were talking about earlier? Yeah you should let him in."

The nurse looked confused. "I thought you said-"

"I know what I said, but yeah he's the father."

"I thought you were the father."

Barney thought for a second, Tracy did say that. "Yes um I am... technically the father... but uh Ted is the-"

"-I'll go get him."

"That would be great."

* * *

Barney looked back on that day. The day Penny was born, almost ten years ago, time sure flies. Tracy was really crazy that day but when she held her daughter for the first time, she could have stayed there staring at her for weeks, he didn't understand it then but when Ellie was born he knew the feeling.

Tears finally began rolling down his face, thinking about Penny and Luke, those poor kids. Tracy was a fantastic mother, even in her final days. Though he remembered at least one time she used her child for less than honorable purposes.

* * *

_The Year 2017, February 10th_

"Oh Barney, lets spend the rest of our lives together, I love you so much, I'm never letting you out of my sight for a second."

"Okay." Barney said, barely hiding his discomfort in the fact that a random bimbo he just met was getting so clingy.

"Ooh, we should go to Vermont together!" Said Random Bimbo.

'Oh God' Barney thought, checking his phone, he called in the calvary half an hour ago, where the hell was she?

"Barney, sweetie-pie? You seem distant."

Barney was about to respond when the door opened. 'Finally' he thought. They both looked over towards the door and Barney smiled, noticing his heavily pregnant at the door.

"Barney?" She yelled. "What the hell is going on? Who the hell is this."

"Oh, nothing honey." Barney said.

"Barney honey, who is this woman?" Random Bimbo asked, standing up.

"She's... um."

"I'm his wife!"

Random Bimbo(Jessica? Jasmine? Jennifer? Sarah?) gasped. "And I bet that's your child too. I can't believe this." She said heading towards the door. "I can't believe you told me I was your first!" She slammed the door.

"And scene!" Barney said. "You were good, not great but better than the last time."

Tracy rolled her eyes as Barney went to get himself a drink. "I can't believe you got me to do that! At this hour in the morning!"

"Hey, you owed me a no questions asked." Barney stated, he decided to compliment her. "Plus your the only chick I know who's hot enough to be believable as my wife."

"Nah-uh mister, that's not gonna work on me." She said sitting on the couch, though Barney did catch a slight smile.

Barney sat down next to her. "So how's little Barney Junior?"

"His name isn't- just stop, okay?"

"You wanna know why I always call you over for these things instead of everyone else?"

"Because my pregnancy makes it easier to scare girls off?"

"That, and you're the only one who doesn't judge me. Everyone else is all like 'Barney! You're forty years old, get your life together!' Not you, you're cool."

"You want to know my honest opinion on the situation?"

Barney nodded. "They were all blinded by the fact that their womanizer friend got married that they didn't see how unhappy you guys got at the end. Personally I prefer you this way, it was clear that you guys stopped loving each other."

Barney took another drink from his beer and then paused, was that entirely true? They were having huge problems but did they stop loving each other? Was it even possible for him fall out of love with Robin Scherbatsky? "Tracy... Robin and I, we were having problems communicating but-"

"-But you never stopped loving her." Tracy looked at Barney, excepting some kind of response and when she didn't get one she knew her statement had been confirmed. "Oh my God, you still love Robin!"

"Tracy I-"

"Are you serious?" Tracy said, standing up. "Why-why did you get divorced? What were you thinking?"

"What was I thinking? I was thinking that our relationship was doomed to fail! I was thinking that Robin's career was turning her into a cold-hearted selfish bitch!" Barney yelled, glad to finally get that out. "I told her I loved her right before we got divorced but that didn't change her mind, she's changed Tracy, I love Robin but not THAT Robin."

Tracy looked shocked at Barney's sudden outburst. "Wow, I'm sorry, I had no idea."

"It's okay, it just hurts. When we got married I had no idea that it would be this hard, no idea that the woman I loved would change so drastically."

Tracy sat back down next to Barney and put her arm around him, comforting him. "So... What are you gonna do?" She asked in a quiet voice.

"Nothing." He replied, sadness filling his voice. "There's nothing I can do, Robin isn't the person she used to be and she isn't changing anytime soon. I can just keep going on like this, keep sleeping around, pretending none of this really matters, pretending that this is who I really am. I'll just pretend that I'd rather keep playing than win."

Tracy looked sadly at him tears forming in her her big eyes. "If there's ever anything you need, ever. Just know that I'm here for you."

Barney smiled sadly, glad that someone was on his side in this horrible situation. "Thanks Trace, that means a lot."

She kept her promise til her very last day. Whenever he was doubting himself and his decisions, she reassured him that he was making the right decision, that going back to Robin would just lead to more pain. He didn't know what he'd do if Tracy hadn't been there to help him through those tough times. He didn't know what he'd do now that she was gone.

He convinced himself that that was who he was, that love wasn't something that Barney Stinson could do, he actually began to believe it too. He told Ted, Marshall and Lily that he was a manchild womanizer and nothing more the night Marshall became a judge, Tracy wasn't there, she was off working, trying to save the world.

Tracy did help him through a lot of his problems, including his toughest journey yet...

* * *

_The Year 2019, June 16th._

"So when is she meeting us here?" Tracy asked impatiently.

"She'll be here aaaany minute." Barney said, trying to keep his cool, though he knew Tracy knew him better than that. They were sitting in a diner and they were about to meet with the mother of his child, his first encounter with her since their one night stand didn't go so well so he begged Tracy to help him this time and she obliged.

"Mommy! I want ice-cream!"

Oh yeah, and she brought Penny with her, she said that it would make #31 feel better about motherhood.

"Not until we're done with uncle Barney's who(re)... Very nice lady" Tracy replied.

"Last time I talked to the very nice lady she bit me." Barney replied shrinking back into his seat.

The door opened and a young blonde woman walked in, looking about half Barney's age. Barney rose from his seat and Tracy pulled him back down again, knowing what he was up to.

"Hey." Barney said, his voice breaking.

"Barney." She spat, giving him a cold stare. She sat down at the table and started eyeing Tracy. "Who's this whor-"

"-I'm Tracy." She replied, not wanting that language to be used in front of her daughter. "I'm Barney's friend."

"Friend? This asshole has friends?"

"Mommy, what's an asshole?"

"It's a very bad word that won't get you ice cream." Tracy replied. "So, Barney tells me you don't want children." Tracy said, changing the subject.

"Yeah, it's gonna be yours." She said, pointing at Barney.

'And we don't want that do we?' Barney said telepathically to Tracy.

'You don't want the kid?' Tracy replied.

'Of course I don't, this had better just be her problem!'

"But you'd love being a mother." Tracy replied, fake-smiling. "This is my daughter Penny, she's three years old and she's the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. Say hi to the nice lady Penny."

"Hi." Penny said timidly.

"Haven't you ever wanted that? I mean, sure motherhood is tough and it does a real number on your body. I've had two kids and if you've ever seen me in a bikini you'll know what I'm talking about."

#31's eyes darted towards Barney, acussingly.

"But-but-but, it's still the single greatest thing I've ever done in my life. Having children, it's just- words can't even begin to describe it. I wouldn't trade anything in the world for it."

#31 went silent for a moment, mulling over Tracy's words. Barney and Tracy exchanged a look.

"No!" She said finally. "You're getting full custody." She glared at Barney and got up, leaving the diner.

"Well that went well." Barney said sarcastically.

"Excuse me?" Tracy replied. "You're the father here and you didn't even say a word."

"Yeah, she scares me."

"So what are you gonna do?"

"I guess, if you really asked nicely, you and Ted could have it."

Tracy rolled her eyes. "We're not taking your child."

"But I want a little sister!" Penny squeaked.

"How about I get you ice cream instead?"

"Yay!"

"Come on!" Barney pleaded. "I don't want to be a dad."

Tracy thought for a second. "Don't make any decisions right now, when you see your child, if you still want to give it up, then fine, we'll talk about it."

"In that case, prepare for baby number three." Barney said, confident that he wouldn't change his mind.

Tracy checked the time. "We've got some time to kill, you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"You know it."

Tracy leaned down to her daughter. "Penny, your uncle Barney and I are going to show you something very awesome. It's called laser tag."

* * *

It's funny, he was so sure that day that he didn't want to have the day Ellie was born, that all changed, the emptiness he had in his heart when Robin left was gone. Seeing as Ellie's mom wanted nothing to do with her, Ellie began looking up to Tracy as a mother, which was why it was so hard...

* * *

_The Year 2024, January 15th_

"And the winners." Barney said, putting on a deep voice. "Are, the incredibly handsome Barney Stinson, the amazing Tracy McConnell and introducing birthday girl, Ellie Stinson!"

Ellie giggled at her fathers words, for Ellie's fourth birthday, Barney and Tracy decided to bring her to her first laser tag game. They both remarked that she was very good for her age (Ted would later remark that it was a game meant for children).

"Aunt Tracy! Aunt Tracy! You were the best!" Ellie screamed Tracy smiled at her enthusiasm, over the years, Barney had noticed that Ellie idolized her aunt, she had recently told Barney that she wanted to learn how to play the ukulele. "Can we do this every year?"

Barney froze, they had told Ellie about Tracy's illness, but she was so young and innocent, she didn't really understand. He looked over at Tracy and could see tears forming in her eyes. "Sweetie... um, I-"

"-Hey Ellie." Barney said, producing a Nintendo DS from his coat pocket. "Why don't you play on this, while your Aunt Tracy and I talk about grown-up stuff?"

"Yay!" Ellie squealed.

"Smooth." Tracy said, a smile forming on her face.

"I'm sorry about that." Barney replied. "She doesn't really-"

"I understand."

They smiled sadly at each other, ever since her diagnosis, she had told the gang that she would like as little talk about it as possible. She said that sometimes it's better to just enjoy each others company instead.

"So what's going on between you and Robin?" Tracy asked.

Barney sighed, Tracy sees everything doesn't she? "Nothing, just friends."

"Come on, these eyes, they miss nothing. Last week when we were all hanging out, I could see it, there's something more there."

Barney opened his mouth to speak, but then he noticed his daughter. He pulled out a pair of headphones and put them on her ears. "Tracy, you know I will always think of Robin as something more than a friend. But Robin and I are finally at a stage where we can be friends without things being awkward and I can't risk screwing that up. And besides, things are different now, I can't just go around chasing Robin anymore, I have responsibilities. I mean, the thought of Ellie losing a mother again. It would kill her."

"Well, she didn't really lose a mother in the first place, #31 was never there to begin with."

"I wasn't talking about #31." Barney said, taking a very serious tone. "She's going to lose the closest thing to a mother she ever had."

Tracy smiled sadly, before quickly changing the subject. "So you and Robin?"

"Not anytime soon."

Tracy had a look of both understanding and disappointment. "I guess I just thought... Nevermind."

"What?" Barney said, sensing a deeper meaning.

"Well... I've heard the stories okay? I've heard about Ted and Robins relationship, it sounded like in incredibly unhealthy relationship yet Ted kept on going back and getting his heart broken."

Barney paused, processing what she just said, was saying that-

"I just thought that if you and Robin finally sorted things out then maybe Ted might be spared of experiencing that again."

"Wait, Tracy are you saying-?"

"I'm saying that one month from now I will be dead." Tracy snapped. "And I want Ted to move on, but not like that."

Barney gripped her hand as tears began falling down her face. He wouldn't usually do something like that, but hey, Tracy was a bro and she's helped him before when he was at his lowest.

"I agree." He said, finally. "It would be the worst thing that could happen if Ted went down that road again. And I promise, that if God forbid, that ever happen. I will find Ted. Walk up to him. And slap him across the face."

Tracy laughed through her tears. "Thanks Barney. Also, can you promise me one other thing?"

"Of course."

"If you ever try to teach Luke how to live. I will track you down. And I will haunt you for the rest of your days."

* * *

That wouldn't be such a bad thing, he didn't know how he'd live without her advice, without her guiding him. He didn't know how he did it for thirty-six years. He stopped crying and smiled, he smiled at how lucky the world was to have been blessed with Tracy McConnell and how lucky he was to have been friends with her.

* * *

**Long chapter. Just to let you know, I don't plan on having any short chapters. Oh yeah and give that ol' review button a click. It'll be fun**


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